becoming a gardener, part 1

18 days from seed (pictured left to right: top row — sugar baby watermelon, poinsett 76 cucumber, sugar cherry tomato, bottom row — purple dragon carrot, chantenay red core carrot, carolina wonder bell pepper, eva purple ball tomato. All seeds came from The Urban Harvest.

I’ve wanted to have a vegetable garden for YEARS, but never made it a priority. However, the allure HAS kept me researching and learning along the way. I joined relevant Facebook groups (using key words to my location and desired kind of gardening), enrolled in informative classes (most notably, “Raised Bed Gardening” through Urban Harvest), and scrolled page after page of higher education expertise (including various parts of the UF/IFAS website and its seminole county extension). SO, when I was gifted with a couple of raised garden beds (we are currently renting, so I can’t plant in-ground) — this one from Lowes and this self-watering one from Costco — near the end of planting season, I actually felt pretty prepared to jump in.

I live in a fairly favorable climate for growing things, but planting time for most fruits and veggies wraps at the end of February, so I immediately went searching for seeds. Picking what to plant had everything to do with what was still eligible for planting FROM SEED (I don’t have the patience or time to make seedlings and transplant) and what I might actually want to feed myself and family. One bed was intended to be vegetables and the other herbs. I planted the veggie garden on February 18 and the herb garden on March 4th (soil info below).

Planting from seed: Dill, mint, strawberries, stevia, thyme, chives, basil, and baby mustard greens.

• Soil: 4.5 cubic feed in each bed, a 3:1 mixture of Fox Farm’s Ocean Forest and a Mushroom Compost, mixed and made moist on the day of planting

• Raised beds: Raised Garden Bed Elevated Planter Box 23-in W x 47-in L x 30-in H with Drainage Holes (Lowes) and CedarCraft Self-Watering Elevated Spruce Planter (Costco)

• Seeds: Ordered online from Urban Harvest and grabbed in-person at Lukas Nursery

lyrics and life lessons

I’ve always loved Country music.

I can’t say it’s the only genre I’ve listened to (I did have that unfortunate foray into CCM in the early 2000’s, followed almost immediately by a pendulum swing into emo and classic rock), but it’s been my go-to since the early 90’s and my mom’s cassette tapes.

I like the storytelling. The talent. The little bit of patriotism and faith that peppers it. The fact that lyrics typically favor romance and beer over promiscuity and drugs …

I guess it’s also the subculture (or, at least, musical genre) to which I can best relate. Can’t say I like to/want to hunt animals for sport. And I’m not likely to ever own a tractor or anything bigger than a backyard hobby garden. But I do prefer wide, open spaces and beautiful trees over cement and city any day. I’ll always choose a backyard or boat hang over a bar or indoor amusement park. I’m not parked in front of the TV for college football like it’s religion, but I get it and respect it. ‘Cause here’s the thing - country music normalizes a simpler life. A pushing toward the stuff that really matters - family, friends, love and living life to the full … the lyrics proclaim those values, as well as the things, people, and processes that re-center us there.

That’s why I think I’ve been so welcoming of my oldest’s CONSTANT questions about the songs she hears. She is forever asking me some variation of “What’s [the singer] talking about?” …. and BECAUSE country music has a value system I can (mostly) align with, I’m able to have educational and life-giving conversations with my girl nearly each and every time a song wraps. It’s been the coolest. In developmentally appropriate ways, we’ve talked about working hard and responsibility and being treated like a queen by the kind of guy that would be worth her time and energy. We’ve talked about how God makes beautiful things and how hard stuff happens. We’ve talked about the meaning of perspective and how having a good attitude can change an experience. We’ve talked about alcoholism and cuss words. We’ve talked about what it means to be kind and grateful and generous, beautiful, confident and powerful. And the list goes on …

Curious: What are your kids learning from the music they’re hearing?

gettin' down to The Git Up

I don’t know what it is about choreographed dance. Line dance. Group dance. Songs like this. I don’t know what it is, but I come ALIVE with this stuff. I feel actually good. Great. Hopeful. Like life is so, so good.

People enjoying themselves. Laughing at themselves. Enjoying one another. Moving their bodies. Smiling and feeling sure and silly and free …

And I feel almost ridiculous saying all that. But, if I’m being honest, it’s always been a true thing for me. Most of my best memories are on Cowboys’ dance floor. I kid you not. I imagine it must be what it’s like for musicians when they sit down with others for a jam session. It feels like human connection and like something bigger and better than ourselves.. It feels like possibility. Life hums. Vibrates.

For me, it’s something approaching a concept of Heaven I could actually look forward to …

So, I’m gonna grab my baby girl and we’re gonna dance in the living room to this on the daily for a while. We’ve already been at it. She lights up. Which makes my heart leap. Maybe she’s got some of her momma in her. And, if it’s this part, I’m gonna help her enjoy it as much and as long as is possible.

Love.

she's worth the whiskey

Double-fisting in Jamaica

There are moments (usually when I'm buzzed) when I wish I could live buzzed. No less, no more. Just buzzed. Cause the girl I am when buzzed? I LOVE her, want to squeeze her and hang out with her, like, ALL THE TIME. She's me, the real me. Fearless me. Emotional me. She sings when there's a good song on, knowing full well she can't carry a tune. She can't help but move her body to a rhythm, even if no one else is feeling the song. She says what she means (and, it's usually love and truth). She's up for nearly everything (within her moral compass) - conversation or action or dream. She's living and noticing the moment. She's undistracted. She's really happy. She's hopeful. She's slow and easy - like a non-churchy Sunday morn. She's completely okay with all that she is and all that she is not. She's willing and able and sure ... of God and life and self.

And, I love her. I really do.

I don't know many people like that in real life. I want to know more people like that in real life. Fun and easy and real and present. How do I find those people? How do I get that way ALL THE TIME without imbibing? Is it possible this side of heaven? In this culture?

I lean toward "no." But, I'm trying. I'll keep trying. Healing. Sanctifying. Getting closer to who I was designed to be. I'm trying.

So, "cheers" in the interim?

LOVE.

#30days ... the list goes on

I am grateful for ...

How deliciously warm it is under the covers on a cold morning. 

My parents.  So many reasons.

Wand curling irons - so we straight-haired girls can change it up occasionally.

The struggle to get clients - I'm learning so much about myself, God, the profession and how to help people as a result of the less than ideal circumstances. 

The ability to Google - I am thankful for the ease of access to all the informations whenever, wherever.

The fact that growing up doesn't mean we're done growing. For learning new things each day and changing as a result, I am thankful. 

Pinterest - it made kitchen updating fun and helps make Christmas shopping a little less stress-inducing. 

Random dachshund sightings - so friggin' cute and joy-bringing!

My home - the person that shares it with me, the fact that we've made it our own, the cozy parts and the less than ideal pieces - it's ours and it's home and I'm so thankful for the blessings of shelter and security (and a low mortgage!).

#30days ... singalongs, beautiful weather

I'm grateful for ...

Last night's primer painting hour - I loved working hard with my best friend, listening to 90's pop on Pandora and making progress on our #kitchenupdate

Friday blue skies and breeze - it's days like today that make me thankful to be a Florida girl.

#30days ... traditions, tub, granite, greggo, validation

I'm grateful for ...

Potters (certain stuffed Christmas penguins) being thrown at my head. I'm thankful for the Mr.'s understanding that a little tradition can go a long way toward good on a "bad day."

A Sunday breakfast date with Tub and Reece. Grateful for the munchkin snuggle that came prior, too.

Affordable granite countertops! Pictures to come, but I am thankful for the refreshed, luxury look our "discount" granite gives our #kitchenupdate.

Greggo's unexpected (and welcomed) text invite to join him for dinner. I sincerely wish I could have made it happen!

Unsolicited permission from my mom to take care of myself. After eight clients in a 12-hour day, the suggestion of a warm shower, a little TV and a glass of wine felt wonderfully validating.

#30days ... my office, apple, freelance

I am grateful for ...

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My office — The room itself is in a great facility and both Seasons and my own office have an aesthetic that's serene and pretty and professional. I am proud to welcome new clients into the space and I know my current clients are really comfortable there. For a place that feels like me and provides an environment that's conducive to healing, I am thankful on a daily basis.

Apple — I've been a "mac girl" since 2004, beginning the day I became a design/production intern. A decade later, the closest I've come to operating a non-apple tech/media device (on a regular basis) was the few tragic months I owned an Android phone in 2012. For saving me from hours of "blue screens", hard drive fails and virus headaches, I am grateful for Apple.

My freelance opportunities — For being able to occasionally make needed money doing things that come easy and/or natural to me, I am blessed.

The Mr.'s freelance opportunities — For the places and people that value his expertise and pay him for it, I am thankful.

#30days ... my clients

I'm grateful for ...

My regulars - I'm honored by their trust, inspired by their stick-to-it-vness, and changed by their continued transformation. I am thankful to get to be a part of their process, to hear their story and to watch them write new chapters!

#30days ... nephews, firepits

I'm grateful for ...

The best gifts my brothers ever gave me — my nephews are just a delight to know and watch grow. I may be partial, but I'm pretty sure my four nephews are the cutest kids on the planet.

Yesterday, as I was walking a fussy Caleb away from the crowd at Wyatt's baseball game, Miles started calling my name. Once he had my attention, he ran to catch up and hang out. We pulled weeds out of the sidewalk cracks. It was awesome. They're awesome. My hope and prayer is to be a helpful and fun place for all the little guys to run to throughout their life ... in the meantime (and always), I'm just thankful to be their aunt!

Firepits — Peaceful and communal, a little ring of fire is a great way to end a day. The Mr. and I light ours up an average of a couple times a week, and we're always game for joining others around theirs. I'm thankful for the heat and how it draws people together.

#30days ... my car

I'm grateful for ...

The Highlander Hybrid — She's my first SUV, first hybrid, first height on the road. I kinda love her. She's a little classy and a little rugged. Wood grain and cargo mats. Kinda like me.

I like how she drives and how my butt fits in the driver's seat. The hybrid gets us decent mpg and the V6 makes me forget that reality. We've put the tow hitch and roof racks to regular use, hauling bikes and boats, here and there. I'm thankful for the vehicle that gets me from A to B and I'm thrilled that She makes it an enjoyable journey.

#30days ... flexibility

I'm grateful for ...

The flexibility of my work schedule — As my own business, I have the ability to make my schedule AND to alter it when necessary ... like when I get sick and need to lie silent for hours in a dark room lit only by a marathon of home improvement shows. Today, coughing up a lung and needing to lay around, I'm thankful I can control when and how I work.

#30days ... morning radio

I'm grateful for ...

The Monsters in the Morning — I miss "Drunky" and Daniel, but as this morning proved, the remaining talent can still make me cry-laugh as I'm driving to work. For easy laughter and strangers who feel like familiar friends, I'm thankful.

#30days ... my Mr.

I am grateful for ...

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His sacrifices — he's working three jobs to keep us financially floating and comfortable. All three jobs are thankless and often lonely. They wear him out - physically and emotionally. But he rarely complains. And he's still a present husband. He's more tuned into my needs and giving me what I need (and sometimes what I don't even know I need) than I could have ever hoped for or expected. His love is daily testament to selflessness.

His boyishness — he's got a youthful giddiness about him when he's excited about things. He throws himself unrestrained into projects and ideas. He's a baby/kid whisperer. Maybe it's because he's got a wonderful innocence and curiosity about him that's too rare. Either way, he's a regular delight and just being with him is teaching me how to play.

His willingness — he tries, he learns, he asks, he answers. He's up for whatever. Whether it's seat dancing to Taylor Swift, camping down the road, remodeling the kitchen, or sailing the inter-coastal, he is accessible. Invested. Game on. He doesn't deny his fear and his anxiety, but he steps over what threatens to hold him back from life on a regular basis. It's inspiring. And his openness forces mine.

His skin — it's warm and soft and smells perfectly comforting. Cuddled on the couch, snuggling in bed or simply holding hands as we walk into the store, touching him feels like safety and security. It's just the best.

He's the best. And I am blown away blessed that he picked me.

#30days ... Paul, Kelsi, Hot Showers

Contentment is really hard. Right now, I want more clients. I want community. I want a hot tub. I want thinner thighs. I want black heeled booties. A massage. And a pedicure. The list goes on ... and the chance of getting all I want — of any of us getting all we want — is nil, so I'm feeling like maybe it's time to shift my focus a bit to ...

Gratitude. It's time to concentrate on WHAT I HAVE. And since I'm three days into the month, without further ado, Days 1, 2, and 3 of my 30 Days of Gratitude:

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I'm grateful for ...

Paul (of Bible fame). He's a reminder that I can learn to LOVE people I don't necessarily LIKE. He's also a reminder that God uses everyone to teach us about Himself and life with Him. Paul's loud and boastful and self-centric. In real life, I'd probably steer clear of the guy, but when I'm cruising the Bible and talking God's truth with clients, Paul is my go to. He was HUMAN and working toward holy and letting himself be messy along the way. I love that. I'm grateful that God chose to feature him and for what his inclusion in the Bible tells us about our Heavenly Father.

Kelsi (of Bardwell fame). She spent years putting up with my grumpiness and worked hard for my admiration ... and she didn't owe me an ounce of that mercy. Today, she's one of the few who let me know when I'm missed, valued or wanted. I'm always grateful she's family, but today, I'm really thankful she's my friend.

Hot showers. For sick days (like today), depressed days and sticky days, a cascade of warm water can work miracles.